Or in another installment of that Next Big Thing er… thing, Rob takes questions on his forthcoming Burning Eye book: In Heaven The Onions Make You Laugh:

Where did the idea come from for the book? 

I have written enough poems and short stories now that if I printed them out, stapled them together and folded a piece of A4 card around them they would make a book.  Luckily Burning Eye asked me if I wanted to make a book and I said yes and filled their hands with bits of paper with writing on.

What genre does your book fall under?

It’s a book of poems, short stories and illustrations. Some pages just have a sentence on that I like. If I owned a bookshop I would put it in all the genre sections on its own and on the tillpoint next to the bookmarks made from my book.  Unfortunately I don’t own a bookshop.   It could go under poetry if you squint when reading it.

What actors would you choose to play the part of your characters in a movie rendition?

Well one of the short stories is about me sharing a yoghurt with God.  I don’t know who I would get to play me, maybe Macauly Culkin?  I think he could play me well. We would have to make sure he speaks in a Yorkshire accent though. To create a genuine Yorkshire accent we would have to drop him in the middle of Yorkshire for six months and see if he survives.  He did show quite good survival skills throughout his short time in the spotlight though so I think he would be ok. To play the part of God I would probably ask Charles Lawson aka Jim Macdonald from Coronation street.

What is the one sentence synopsis of your book?

In Heaven The Onions Make You Laugh.  This is also the title.

How long did it take you to write the first draft of the manuscript?

I am thirty years old and it has taken me thirty years to write this book.

Who or what inspired you to write this book?

Being born into a world that I do not understand inspired me to try and understand it through creativity.

What else about your book might pique the reader’s interest?

It has a poem about a cat in it.

When will it be published?

In March, I think.